Oil Of Joy Instead Of Tears
Is 61:2-3 (Good News Translation):
…He has sent me to comfort all who mourn, 3To give to those who mourn in Zion, joy and gladness instead of grief, A song of praise instead of sorrow.
Not even in my wildest dreams did I think something like this would happen to my family or that I would have the strength to write about it. About three weeks ago a very close family member went home to be with the Lord in Heaven. There were signs that she was not doing and feeling well, but we didn’t realize the seriousness of it all until she ended up in icu and we received the unimaginable tidings that she is no longer here. The news struck me harder than I thought it would and it was like for a moment the world stopped turning. Things that seemed important just a moment ago lost their value and meaning and we were confronted with the sad reality that a beautiful and so precious piece of our family puzzle is no longer here. The perfect puzzle picture will never be complete again. This post is not about me as there are other family members of mine who are carrying a far heavier and more devastating sense of this great loss than I do. I am writing this though, because I am seeing how the Lord is giving us beauty and joy in the midst of what seems like difficult, heavy ashes.
Throughout my life so far I have heard many people teach and preach about the book of Job. The revelation they said they got varied and left me confused. But I recently heard someone I trust say that he would summarize lessons from the book of Job as “What do you do when you don’t understand why?” Job experienced devastating loss in just about every area of his life. His friends tried to “comfort” him by getting him to focus on what he might have done wrong for the judgment of God to have come on him like that. His wife also told him to just go ahead and curse God and die. Fortunately, he didn’t take their advice but remained faithful to God - knowing in his heart that God is not the one destroying or taking away, but that He is always good. Through all his hardship and confusion, his heart remained pure and soft and open towards God. He ended up praying for his friends even though they tried to put all blame on him and in the end, God restored him and gave him much more than what he lost.
We don’t know why this happened. But I can tell you that God didn’t take her. The worldly way of comfort often paints a picture of God needing another angel for his choir or another flower in His garden. She is certainly not an angel as that would be a demotion (Ps 81 Cor 6:3). We as new creations in Christ are now called the children of God, created higher than the angels. No, God didn’t take her, but He was certainly there to lovingly receive her (2 Cor 5:8).
We are eternal spiritual beings who have a soul and who lives in a body. When our bodies die, our soul and spirit depart to be with the Lord if we are saved. What I do know is that regardless of how much she loved us all, she would not want to come back even if given the chance. Even Paul said that He would much rather be with the Lord in Heaven than to be here on the earth (Phil 1:20-24). I find myself having a case of Heaven envy as I write this as I am sure being with Jesus is so much better than we can ever imagine.
Tradition and sometimes religion dictates that the depth of your mourning and the length and intensity of your grief is an indication of how much you loved someone who is in Heaven now. But Jesus said we should not mourn like the world does. Why? Because to the world such a loss means the end - that they will never see that person again. But we are promised that dying and leaving this earth is not the end and that He will make all things new again.. and so, we do not grieve like the world does:
1 Thes 4:13-14 (NLT): 13 And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. 14 For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died.
Because we have this assurance, we can continue our race here on earth until the return of the Lord. That is what He wants us to do and I believe that she would not want us to be sad and in mourning to the point where we cannot continue.
So what am I saying? Do we just grit our teeth and pretend this hardship didn’t happen and that we are not dealing with the heaviness every day? No, not at all. That is not possible in our own strength. But we have promises from the Lord and a whole arsenal of weapons - through the fruit of the spirit - to keep us strong so we can get through this.
In days of heaviness, we have a choice - we can focus on the sadness in our souls, or the joy that is always present in our spirits. Joy lives on the inside of us. When we choose joy, we stay strong.
Neh 8:10 (NLT): “…Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”
The Lord says that He comforts our broken hearts and assures us of His favour and that our enemy’s final day will come. He also gives us beauty for ashes and replaces our mourning with blessings. He is the one we can look to for comfort and care.
Ps 3:3 (NIV): But you, LORD, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high.
In our minds we may have questions as to why or how this is possible. We may even have partial answers and some understanding. But, one thing I have learned, especially recently, is that God is always faithful and His goodness and lovingkindness is always for us.
I remember when my dad went to be with the Lord - now more than 10 years ago - we kept saying that things will probably now go back to normal. But that is just the thing, there is no going back to normal. Nothing will ever be normal again. Now we face a “new normal”, one without her. I have heard someone say: “There is something about life. It. Goes. On.” And so that is what we will do.
Do I have regrets? Yes I regret that she is no longer here. I regret that we didn’t get to do all the things that I still wanted to experience with her. I regret her not being able to live out the full number of her days and see her daughter grow up. But, one thing I am sure of is that she knew how much she was loved. She never left here without us telling her that we love her and that we enjoyed her presence and all her quirky sayings. Even now thinking about her, I celebrate her days and the wonderful, unique person she was - the many roles she had, her creative nature - the list goes on. And so the loss and sadness we feel is for ourselves and also for all the things she won’t be here for. But, I know she is not looking back.
As we now approach the end of this year, I am probably not the only one who needs to be reminded of this:
Mat 11:28-30 (NLT): 28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
I have said a lot. Some of it you might have heard before, some might be a new way of thinking about grief. I might even look back on this post in a few weeks and wonder what I was thinking writing this and being so vulnerable. And now I have no fitting words to end this post so I will use a scripture and the words of a song. If you had a hard year and experienced loss in any form, may you be encouraged that this is not the end. We have a joyous future for our remaining time here on earth, and such a bright eternal destiny that we have to squint our eyes to even just look at it. God is always with us, He will never leave us nor forsake us!
And for Lila, you were here for such a short time, and I already miss you so much, but I am looking forward to the real joy of seeing you again very soon.
Rev 21:1-4 (NLT): 1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. And the sea was also gone. 2 And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. 4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”
Goodness of God - Bethel Music and Jenn Johnson
Verse 1
I love You Lord
For Your mercy never fails me
All my days
I've been held in Your hands
From the moment that I wake up
Till I lay my head
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God
Verse 2
I love Your voice
You have lead me through the fire
In darkest nights
You are close like no other
I've known You as a Father
I've known You as a Friend
And I have lived in the goodness of God
Bridge
Your goodness is running after
It's running after me
Your goodness is running after
It's running after me
With my life laid down
I surrender now
I give You everything (Oh Lord)
Your goodness is running after
It's running after me
Chorus
And all my life you have been faithful
And all my life you have been so so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I'm gonna sing of the goodness of God..
So, what do you do when you don't understand why? You keep believing in the goodness of God!
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**I added bold format to text in some scripture references.
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